THE KID'S REVIEW OF:
CLOSER

OPENING THOUGHTS

    I knew the play was dirty, hot and fucked up but how would the film version work out. Well, Natalie Portman as the hot stripper is a start...

ACTING

    JULIA ROBERTS proved to be a shocker for casting. Couldn't really picture her dropping the F bomb, talking about warm cum and how she likes to orgasm but she's a trooper and a professional and really shined. Despite the giant mouth that we've all come to know and love (?), she did a damn fine job. But thank god there wasn't much laughing in the movie, she would've swallowed Clive Owen whole instead of just his dick.
    CLIVE OWEN can play a cold hearted bastard without having to think twice. He pulled off just the right amount of perv and sexy, honesty and straight up liar. Damn fine job from 1/2 of the English duo in the film.
    JUDE LAW rounds out the 1/2 of the English. Law and I have a tenuous relationship; he has the kids on the weekend and I take 'em through the week. No no no, that's not what I meant; I mean I can't stand him sometimes but other times he's great. Here he's great. Slightly whiney but that's ok, that's who this prick is. He's fucked up in great ways and pretty boy pulled it off.
    NATALIE PORTMAN is a hot piece of ass. And you see it. God do you see it, granted she's in a thong but I'll take that. Portman plays Alice, she is feisty as shit and hot to trot but also weak as my ever dying heart. Hurt, hope and fucked up desire to be naked in front of everyone drives her broken character.

DIRECTION AND SCRIPT

    MIKE NICHOLS has done some phenomenal shit and the direction here is fuckin' great. He got great performances, made the London lifestyle a character and really made you say, "God damn, these people are fucked for all eternity."
    PATRICK MARBER wrote the play and the screenplay and I think it really shows. Transferring from the stage and going to the screen lets you lose the limitations but also the intimacy. Marber managed to keep his vision in tact. Even though these characters are sad, pathetic, broken and covered in each others cum, it really drew me in and I wanted to see them find love.

THE VERDICT

    The story and characters will get under your skin, you probably won't like them, but that's not the point. It's an examination in love and the fucked up games we all play... it's just that these people play hardcore.
 
 

RATING: B +

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