THE KID'S REVIEW OF:
THE ARISTOCRATS

OPENING THOUGHTS

    Sucking and fucking and sucking and blowing.  Playing a rusty trombone and space docking while cumming on a Holocaust survivor. Sound like good time? Of course not, you sick fuck!!! But it is fun to listen to... especially if it's Bob Saget or Paul Riser saying it. If you've ever been offended by anything... ever... in you life, then you'll want to skip this documentary; but if giggle at the thought of fist fucking your daughter's cherry red pooper - then swipe it up!!

ACTING

    GEORGE CARLIN is the comic god in the film and it shows. He gives the best crafted, perfectly paced and carefully worded version of this filthy filthy bit of humor. You can tell that he's been doing what's he's doing for a hell of a long time and knows what's truly funny... diarrhea is funnier than shit and the word polyp hits just right, don't rush pass the squatting section and make sure you mention the "hollow of the throat". Very nice Mr. Carlin. Very nice indeed.
    GILBERT GOTTFRIED knows what's funny as well, he just goes about it differently; he prefers to punch everything to the max... shit has the same power as cum and blood. He comes out (no pun) with both guns blazing and he doesn't let up. You know, there is something about hearing Iago say "fist fuck" 17 times that just warms me in places that don't normally get to feel warm.
    BOB SAGET is a sick mother fucker. I like him now.
    SARA SILVERMAN is one of only a few women in the film, and she's the only one that's funny. She takes a different take on the the joke in the sense that she doesn't tell it. With that said, she does a version of it by improving what it was like to be one of the Aristocrats then takes it home with a pretty funny punch line. I personally think she's hot, I don't know why; she's very average looking and nothing special. But she's funny and has something about that says she's badass. And again, she mentions things like jerking off a dog and eating out assholes... so there's that.

DIRECTION AND SCRIPT

    PAUL PROVENZA is credited for directing but I'm not sure why. For all practical purposes there is no script. It's a documentary. But it's even less than that, he just went to some friends, turned the camera on and asked them to talk about this joke and then tell the joke. There also is very little structure. Which would have been fine if they (Provenza and Penn Jillette) had either a.) been more rigid about the sections - i.e. history, structure, content or b.) cut out sections and chapters and had comics just tell the joke.

THE VERDICT

    As a movie, The Aristocrats is just ok... but as far as subject matter it's hilariously foul and sticky.  The shit that I was subjected to was glorious and yet made me say "wait, most of this is illegal and should be punishable in all states/countries... so why am I smiling from ear to ear??"  Oh well, these stories haven't changed me or corrupted me... if anything, it's made me realize that I'm not alone when I jerk my brother off  while mom diddles my balls and forces cum bubbles out her ass.
 
 

RATING: C +

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