THE JANITOR'S REVIEW OF:
MR. AND MRS. SMITH - THE UNRATED VERSION

OPENING THOUGHTS

    If you're anything like myself, then you've often wondered what it would be like if they mated a James Bond film with a Danielle Steel novel. Apparently someone out there had the same idea because before my very eyes sits Mr. And Mrs. Smith. A movie sexier than an Aston Martin, more sleek than a gold Walther PP7, and action tighter than Fabio's turd cutter. Not even the Farley brothers could come up with an idea this good!

ACTING

    BRAD PITT is everything a man wants to be. Sexy, smooth, having sexuals
with his seductive co-star. He's also an actor and a darn good one too. It took a movie with intense action and sexual tension to bring out the best in his acting ability. I think that Pitt made a good career choice because I think he'd suck as a lawyer.
    ANGELINA JOLIE has one more thing to add to her resume, "Banged Brad
Pitt". I've always thought that her acting was just fine, but nothing to cum all over. Now her body, that's a different story. Unfortunately we don't live in a world where a woman can become big just because she has a nice body... wait.
    THE SUPPORTING CAST was good, or was it just Vince Vaughn, he was in this movie, I think. I remember seeing him once or twice. I think old Vaughn added some good dimension to this film, even if he was only in it for a couple minutes. I know why he wasn't in it longer, it's because Vaughn isn't the sexy. He gave the movie the comedy that it needed with out detracting from the sexy. Nice Vaughn nice!

DIRECTION AND SCRIPT

    DOUG LIMAN took a potential turd and polished the shit out of it. (Oh snap). I honestly believe that this movie is what it is today due to the eye for detail that Liman possesses. The movie kept me wanting more... more action, more romance, more nudity... or any for that matter. No, Liman kept it clean, keeping the movie pure and honest. He kept my attention with out using nipples or voyeuristic, up the skirt, camera angles. Nicely done Liman.
    SIMON KINBERG must have taken a good look at his life and realized that
it was going no where because out of the blue he drops this bad boy on us. I bet he has a copy of Mr. And Mrs. Smith sitting on his office desk, next to his pictures of the wife and kids, because this one's probably his baby. If they ever decide to make a sequel I hope they don't use Kinberg because Kinberg sucks when it comes to making sequels.

THE VERDICT

    Even thought the movie was great, sexy, stylish and all around entertaining. I still wish a little that I could have seen Jolie's titties, just once. But that is the sign of a good film, I enjoyed the flick even lacking sight of those juicy knockers. So I give this movie a hardcore B +, definitely one with replay value.
 
 

RATING: B +


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