MR. SPARKLE'S
REVIEW OF:
SNATCH (2000)
OPENING THOUGHTS
Do you like diamonds? Look, it doesn't
even matter, this movie is good. Great even. I love the direction, the
action, the acting, the dark humor, and the tea cozy in this movie. There
isn't much wrong with this movie, although the narration did kind of hit
and miss which broke up the through line a tad. That is pretty much all
of what I thought wasn't right with this movie. That being said, let's
start the praising. This movie made me love life... at gunpoint. That was
a great tag line for a film, a film with plenty of moxie! Try it, just
change the it to "They made him love life... at gunpoint." and it is marketing
GOLD!
ACTING
JASON STATHAM does a great job as the
deadpan narrator/main character that plays his lot in life just well enough
not to die. What does that mean. He really made me want to like his character,
what with all of the charisma, plus the good acting doesn't hurt too much.
I think Jason Statham is awesome and apparently, according to The Transporter
he
can kick major ass. I would like to see him is better movies than faggot
shit like Cellular, but I change my tune once that sultry accent
caresses my ears like a velvet cock, and I don't care what the hell movie
it is. Velvet cock?
DENNIS FARINA was the funniest character
shy of Brad Pitt in this movie. He had some of the best lines, and the
way that he said them made me chortle with every "fuck", and there sure
were a lot of them. I chortled a lot. I love this guy, but he is no Jerry
Orbach. I miss that guy right now, that I do. Dennis has this sarcastic
presence very few actors posses, and I want to be. What? I make less and
less sense as the review progresses.
BRAD PITT is the best part of this
movie by a long shot. His character is so freaking funny that I rewind
his parts just to hear the way he mumbles words, and try to figure out
which words they are. One of my favorite scenes in any movie happens with
this guy. He is sitting on the coach drunk as Grandpa Tuesday, and Turkish
tells him to wake up and give him advice to which he responds "Need to
have a shite." and then I spill urine out of my penis. It happens in my
scene anyway. Keep in mind that all of what he is saying is muttered in
some half Irish, half cockney, all awesome accent. Also he punches like
a dream in this movie.
DIRECTION AND
SCRIPT
GUY RITCHIE directed and wrote one
of the best dark comedy/caper/boxing/burning campers with a Gypsy's mom
inside them movies I have ever scene. I love the directorial style, and
the action shots that get spliced up and made thick with style. I think
this is one of the better comedies to come out in the past few years, and
it just gets better each time I watch it. The shots are great, and the
spastic nature of the story only adds to the style. This movie is written
very well as well. I like the story, but more importantly the dialogue
is better than most, plus the characters are crafted so well there doesn't
need to be that much development, now that is the true test of great writing.
The way all of the separate stories interwove, and the characters overlapped
was brilliant, and not at all convoluted like it was in Lock Stock.
It is my true belief that Guy Ritchie has never, nor will he ever create
a film this good before or again. If that made sense raise your hand. Higher.
THE VERDICT
Great movie well written, with freaking awesome characters
and great direction. This a movie you need to see, because it will make
you feel good about a meaningless film. No, there is not hidden meaning,
theme, overlying positive outlook, or tiny rabbits, but it has everything
a great movie should, with very minimal faults. Entertaining, completely
original, and has a ravishing new scent, what is not to like?
RATING: B +
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