HEFE'S REVIEW OF:
THE GOOD SHEPHERD

OPENING THOUGHTS

    I really wanted to see this movie. I was excited because it was directed by Robert De Niro, and I was thrilled when I saw the cast list. This seemed like a sure-fire great movie destined for the Oscars. But then something happened, it was never even mentioned at the Oscars and I began to have my doubts about how good this movie would be.

ACTING

    MATT DAMON is a great actor in my opinion, I celebrate almost his entire collection. That being said, he was a shit in this movie. A stupid boring, quiet, shit whore who that wears glasses. I did not like his character at all, it's not that I needed him to be talking all of the time, but I think it is important that the main character of any story is at least interesting.
    ANGELINA JOLIE seemed to walk through her performance in this movie. It was like she wasn't even trying. Maybe all of her exploits in film have secretly only been about getting Brad Pitt's man meat inside of her and now that she has it she feels she doesn't have to try anymore. I guess she feels that because she collects orphans like I collect shot glasses that she is too important to have to worry about doing a good job at work.
    ALEC BALDWIN looked chubby and delicious in this movie. He wasn't in the film very much but when he was his voiced soothed me and reminded me that everything would be ok.
    EDDIE REDMAYNE was terrible. He looked like an inbred member of the Royal Family. It was awful, I can't even tell if he was a good actor. Anytime he was on screen I was just dissecting his features with my eyes. I can't describe how disturbing his face was. I think it was his lips that was the worst part, they looked all weird and taped on. I kept waiting for them to fall off or come unglued, it was as if he was constructed like a Mr. Potato. No! No! I don't want to see him ever again! No!
    JOHN TURTURRO was the only person in this movie that I would say actually did good. He breathed some life into his character, while most everyone else in the movie seemed to be made of clay. By the hammer of Thor he never ceases to amaze me!

DIRECTION AND SCRIPT

    ROBERT DE NIRO should probably stick to acting. I think he really tried hard with this movie, but maybe that was the problem. It seemed like the movie was trying to fake the feelings of suspense and drama. Not to mention the pacing made this movie as painfully slow as anything they could throw at you during a stint at Guantanamo Bay.
    ERIC ROTH seems to be kind of hit and miss. He has written the likes of Forrest Gump and Munich, but then he has also written things like The Postman and Ali. So I am kind of on the fence with this guy. I would definitely file this movie under the bad section of his work. Again I have to say I cannot understand the logic of having the main character be a guy who not only doesn't really talk, but doesn't do much of anything, I don't think he even ever blinked. The script was essentially all dialogue. There was nothing happening here. I have never been much for explosions, but after two and a half hours I was praying for one. I really needed something to happen in this movie, anything, but it never did. Finally after almost 3 hours the movie just ended and I felt like I just got my shit pushed in. I also didn't care for the way this is portrayed as a true story in the previews when it isn't the actual story of the "birth of the CIA." While they may not specifically say that it is a true story, I am willing to bet that most people will assume it is as true as Michael Jackson's need to touch little boy's baby carrots. But you know what they say about people who assume... they die... from lime disease... or something like that.

THE VERDICT

    Don't waste your time with this one, if you are a fan of anyone involved in this movie you will just find yourself disappointed and feeling as violated as one of the victims on Law And Order: SUV.
 
 

RATING: D +

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