HEFE'S REVIEW OF:
DOGMA (1999)

OPENING THOUGHTS

    Another day, another request from the clergy being fulfilled. Yes, this is yet another request from a Monk, which can mean only one thing, either this is the most open-minded man of God in the world, or it is some kind of Catholic mind trick to get me to blaspheme in an open forum so that he can tell on me directly to God. Either way, I promise to state my real and true opinions about this film, besides I think it is a little bit late for tricks, I think I noticed smoke come out of my Vans the last time I was in a church.

ACTING

    BEN AFFLECK and MATT DAMON which I will talk about in tandem since it would be as much of a waste of time to talk of them separately as it would be to talk about peanut butter and jelly separately when you know you are going to be judging the sandwich as a whole anyway, were awesome in this movie. First off let me say that it was a brilliant choice to cast them together after their recent and sudden success in Good Will Hunting. Secondly their performances were so fucking natural, the two played well off each other, almost to the point where you have to wonder if they have seen the inside of each other's ass holes. All I know is that I thoroughly enjoyed the bickering, and while it is obvious that Matt Damon is the better actor, there is a something special going on when those to combine forces and make a homo-erotic Aflleck and Damon sandwich.
    LINDA FIORENTINO was by far the worst person in this film, which is a shame when you consider she pretty much had the movie's biggest role. It's like the whole time she was trying to do a bad impersonation of Janene Garafolo, but her performance felt forced and shitty. Like she was trying to convey a dry humor with a lack of enthusiasm for life in general, but failing in every way. The really frustrating thing about this whole situation is that Garafolo actually had a cameo in this film acting right alongside Fiorentino, almost as if to highlight just how much better Garafolo would have been in the role. Hulk smash!
    JASON MEWES was his usual foul mouthed self, and it's funny, hearing all of his "fucks", "shits" and "Damns" feel like putting on an old familiar sweater that makes you feel cozy and warm. Nobody could play the role of Jay like him because he actually is exactly like the character in real-life. I am confident that any big name actor in the role would have fucked it up. Also the way he plays off of Kevin Smith is something incredibly special and is in my opinion one of the best comedic duo's in movie history. Yeah, I said it, do something!
    ALAN RICKMAN was a surprising addition to the cast, mostly because he is some what of a distinguished actor. I wasn't sure at first if it would feel awkward seeing him in this film, but he fit right in. His usual depressing nature that comes through in most of his roles was still there, but it translated very well into comedy, which is something that I found very shocking. In the end I was very pleased to have him in the movie, and I think his veteran status added some legitimacy to the somewhat racy subject matter.
    CHRIS ROCK was the only other main character in the film that I found to be less than worthy of a part. Don't get me wrong Chris Rock can be funny from time to time, but he is not a good actor. The lines that were written for him were funny, but his delivery of them was nothing short of awful. I was talking to a friend about this very thing the other day and they were saying that it was a small role and it shouldn't have been that big of a deal. Well damn it, to me it was! Every time he spoke I rolled my eyes and was taken out of the movie, even if only for the briefest of seconds, and to me that is a big fucking deal! That is all.

DIRECTION AND SCRIPT

    KEVIN SMITH really out did himself with this movie, this is by far the deepest and most intelligent movie that he has ever written, and what is great is that he managed to write it without getting rid of any of the long form dialogue and swearing that he is known for. What is funny to me about this movie is how upset it made religious people, especially Catholics. I found it funny, because while this movie may have had a lot of naughty language, the film really didn't do much that was blasphemous. It never really said anything bad about God, just pointed out the flaws and hypocrisy of the church itself, which is hardly a new theme. I really do have to commend Smith though, because it is obvious that he knew his shit, which I think really strengthened the film. I think it is a grave injustice that this movie was not at least nominated for a Best Original Screenplay Oscar, as this is both thought provoking and funny, which is a very rare combination.

THE VERDICT

    Kevin Smith himself said that he wrote this film because he was having a crisis of faith and writing this was his way of working through it, and in the end he ended up believing that God exists. I myself am not as lucky, sometimes I don't know what to believe. However a great philosopher once said, and I'm paraphrasing here, that if you were a betting man it's best to bet on Catholicism, because in every other religion all you need to do is be a good person and you will be fine in the after-life, however if you bet on a different religion and the Catholics are right you are pretty much fucked. I think about that from time to time, and in the end I guess it is just plain old selfish fear that stops me from making the complete leap from faith and stating that I don't believe in any of that crap. Which is also why I have such respect for people who are so sure that they can devote their lives to a God on nothing more than faith. Which brings me to my next thought, I know people devoted to God like Monks are not allowed to have sex, but are they allowed to watch porn? They should make a movie about that!
 
 

RATING: B +

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