HEFE'S REVIEW OF:
APOCALYPTO

OPENING THOUGHTS

    I will be honest I was skeptical about this movie going in. First off as much as one hates to admit it, the old innocent Mel of the past has been replaced by a cuckoo Jew-hating farce of himself. But I really wanted to give this movie a fair shot, so in the essence of fairness... I watched this movie.

ACTING

    RUDY YOUNGBLOOD was actually really good in this movie. I have no idea who he is or where he came from but he definitely impressed me. He showed really good emotion, and was really good at kicking ass using nothing but guts and of course blunt-force trauma to the head.
    DALIA HERNANDEZ was also good in this movie, even more so when you consider she spent the majority of the film sitting in a hole in the ground trying to keep a baby from popping out of her snatch.
    THE SUPPORTING CAST was also very good in this movie. From what I understand much of the cast was found on location and many were locals that showed up and were put in the movie. Considering the kind of fucks that are usually in local movies, I have to say I was very impressed with how everyone turned out.

DIRECTION AND SCRIPT

    MEL GIBSON did some good things, and he did some bad things. First off this movie had excellent tension from beginning to end. I would really say that Gibson is a much better director then he is a writer. But since I need to focus on directing right now, I will try to say focused. He did an excellent job of capturing the chaos of tribal battles. I mean it was ruthless, most of the deaths in this movie occur by just hitting someone with something hard over and over again until they stop moving. There was blood and guts and ass everywhere, it is not a nice way to go out... and Gibson never let you forget that.
    MEL GIBSON and FARHAD SAFINIA are both responsible for a script that really is not that great. First off let me ask this, since when did it become necessary for Mel Gibson to make movies that are not in English? Is there all of the sudden something wrong with English? Now I am all for realism in movies, but if you are making a movie for American audiences, than why not have everyone speak English in the film? It has been done before and it really isn't that big of a deal, the only time it is necessary to use a different language is if you are either making a movie for a different audience, or if there are more than one language being spoken in the film. Otherwise no one is going to care if everyone is speaking English. That being said the story itself was kind of confusing. I didn't really feel like I understood what was going on. I mean I understood who were the bad guys, and I understood who the good guy was, but I need more than that. I felt like I didn't have a good understanding of who the bad guys were and what the fuck their problem was. Maybe that was the point, I don't know, maybe we are supposed to feel as disoriented as the main character, but you know what, it didn't work for me. I needed more... props on all the tribal booby though.

THE VERDICT

    This movie is not a complete waste of time as some others would have you believe. The action scenes and direction were in my opinion actually quite good. But the story does not have a big enough payoff, to make all of the fighting worthwhile.
 
 

RATING: C +

Disagree with this review? Have a question?
Want to request a movie for Hefe to review?
Tell Him!!
hefe@hollywoodguys.net


If you think these reviews taste good, you should sign up for The Hollywood Tickle! You will get a buffet of fun jammed right in your inbox!


ACTOR LIST~~MOVIE LIST~~DIRECTOR LIST~~SCREENWRITER LIST