HEFE'S REVIEW OF:
ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS:
THE SQUEAKQUEL (2009)

OPENING THOUGHTS

    The first film in this series managed to "squeak" by with a D +, which needless to say does not bode well for this unnecessary sequel. I suppose all of us knew this was coming though, I mean it was only a matter of time before they made a movie introducing the Chipettes, but that doesn't make it any less painful to limp through.

ACTING

    ZACHARY LEVI, I can only assume, got a part in this movie after a frantic rewrite was done to the script when Jason Lee no doubt said he would only be in this film if he got all of his scenes shot in one day. This terribly piss-poor character was not only written poorly, but acted horribly too. This guy looks like he belongs on The Wizards Of Waverly Place, I can't believe that he is the star of a network show.
    DAVID CROSS is becoming a big disappointment. He has been starring in the worst movies as of late. In 2009 alone he had large roles in both this crap-fest as well as Year One. What happened to the awesome David Cross that first caught my eye back when he was on Mr. Show? Cross' delivery was about what it usually is, but his character still fell flat for me. Cross needs to get his shit together, and I mean like right now.
    THE SUPPORTING CAST was an even bigger shocker than it was in the first film. The voice talents for the Chippetes are even bigger stars than that of the Chipmunks, which left me scratching my head even more than I did in the first film. Anna Faris, Amy Poehler and Christina Applegate voice the Chipettes and I have to once again ask why on Earth anyone would bother to pay big stars to do voice-over work that is sped up to the point that you can't even tell which is which. If you ask me, it was a total waste of money. On a slightly creepier note, I did find myself being mildly attracted to the Chippette that looked like Tina Fey.

DIRECTION AND SCRIPT

    BETTY THOMAS directed this garbage, and what is there really to say? There was almost no chance that this was going to be a good movie. The script was shit to begin with, not to mention nobody is going to really give a shit about the final product anyway since the only people are that are watching this film are kids who aren't old enough to know better and the adults who are forced by obligation to said kids to watch the movie with them. So I guess when it comes down to it, who gives a shit about the directing.
    JON VITTI, JONATHAN AIBEL and GLENN BERGER wrote this shit burger, and they did it without any shame, and with an extra helping of shit. Let's face it, the first Chipmunk movie was not going to win any awards for originality, but at least they attempted to have some sort of plot. This film seemed like they just gave up, it's like they just tried to remake the first film using the same exact formula. It was also painfully obvious that the film had to be rewritten to take Dave out of the equation. Plus the storyline for getting the Chipmunks into school in the first place makes absolutely no sense. Of course I am talking about this movies story like it merits discussion, let's be clear it doesn't.

THE VERDICT

    Unless if you are forced to watch this movie by your children and their big doughy eyes, there should be no reason why you should even consider watching this film. Even then you should try to bribe them with ice cream or something and try to watch something else. I can't thing of a single redeeming quality other than the exhilarating feeling I got when the credits finally rolled on the screen.
 
 

RATING: F

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