HEFE'S REVIEW OF:
ALONG CAME A SPIDER (2001)

OPENING THOUGHTS

    If there is a God I hope he sounds like Morgan Freeman. I watched Kiss The Girls a long time ago, and I remembered vaguely liking it. Since this is a sequel to that film, and since I came across it in my quest to rewatch all the ridiculous amounts of unnecessary movies that I own, I decided to rip this to my iPod and give it a watch.

ACTING

    MORGAN FREEMAN has a great voice, did I mention that already? I wish he would tuck me into bed every night and read me a story, I bet you I would sleep like a log. Freeman once again plays Alex Cross, a gentle soul with a sharp mind. He does an admirable job, and his character was consistent with his character in Kiss The Girls, but for some reason, he just wasn't able to hold my attention as much this time around. I did like that his co-star's character was named Jezzy though, because it sounded like he was saying Jesse, so it felt like Morgan Freeman was calling out for me the whole movie.
    MONICA POTTER was adequate in her role as the afore mentioned Jezzy. That is really all I can say about her. She was just not that good of an actress and I found her to be completely forgettable in every way. Now you can get away with being an average actor if you are smokin' hot, but she was also pretty average looking too. I could bump into her in the juniors section of J.C. Penney any day of the week and it wouldn't register that I was looking at the lead actress from a movie.
    MICHAEL WINCOTT has a ridiculous voice. It was made for being creepy. Every once in awhile I will see him pop up in a movie, and I never recognize him until he opens that mouth of his. But as soon as he does I always remember him instantly as the villain from The Three Musketeers. It must suck to have a voice like that though, can you imagine walking through the juniors section at J.C. Penney and scaring everyone you talked to just by talking? He is probably a very nice man who will always be remembered as a villain.

DIRECTION AND SCRIPT

    LEE TAMAHORI managed to direct a suspenseful movie, without bothering to put any suspense into it. This was directed more like a TV movie than a feature film. I never felt like I was on the edge of my seat, I never felt worried about what was happening, I felt like I could get up in the middle of the movie and just go hang out in the juniors section at J.C. Penney and I wouldn't miss a thing. It's not that it was particularly bad, it just felt average, like everything else in this film.
    MARC MOSS had quite the task, he had to adapt a storyline from 4 different books into a single 103 minute movie, and he was pretty unsuccessful as far as I can tell. Now I haven't read the books, but I have read the descriptions of how this story unfolded in the books, and I have to say the books sound a lot better. Everything in the film felt formulaic and rushed. Everyone outside of Alex Cross felt underdeveloped, and the only reason Cross didn't feel that way is because I had already watched him in another movie. This was the average straw that broke the average camel's average back.

THE VERDICT

    In case you have not managed to figure it out yet, I thought this film was very average. Nothing about it stood out, and there was no risks taken to make this film feel like anything other than generic. It's always nice to listen to Morgan Freeman talk, but he has been in much better films over the years, so watch one of them instead. I have heard they are going to do a reboot of the Alex Cross books with a new actor soon. If they are going to replace the only enjoyment I got of this film, they better have a much better script.
 
 

RATING: C

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