G BABY'S REVIEW OF:
SNATCH (2000)

OPENING THOUGHTS

    My brother loves this movie and he watched it about a hundred times. So I saw bits and pieces of it at different times and I had to listen to him quote lines from it EVERY day for about 5 months. As a result, I really started to hate it and I was convinced it was an annoying movie. But all my movie buff friends talked about how great it was, and I'm a big phony so I bought it and pretended to like it for years. I felt so dirty. So cheap. Like such a tag-along whore. I'm sorry. I just never had any desire to actually watch it. And even though I only recently sat down and watched it all the way through for the first time, I felt like I'd seen it a hundred times. But after seeing it the way it was intended, I must say I liked it a lot more than I did seeing it in bits and pieces and listening to my brother say "Sneaky fucking Russian!" whenever he surprised me from behind a dark corner.

ACTING

    JASON STATHAM acts really well in this movie. I feel like a shitty bitch because the first time I saw him was in The One with Jet Li. I thought to myself, who is this douche bag? Then I saw him in The Transporter and I realized the only reason he wasn't cool in The One is because he didn't have his accent. I fully realize now that Jason Statham is only cool with his bitchin' accent. Without it he's just some bald fuck.
    BRAD PITT is also awesome in this movie. His accent was cool too, but unlike Jason Statham he can be cool without it. It was awesome of Brad Pitt to take a role like this. I only say that because he's a pretty mainstream Hollywood actor and this wasn't exactly a glamorous Hollywood role. He played a dirty dirty Gypsy. But Gypsies in Europe must be different than Gypsies in America. In America, no gypsy is anything like Brad Pitt. They're just a bunch of fat guys named Bobby-Bob who would do anything to scam you out of a box of Raisinettes.
    DENNIS FARINA was also really funny. I think he's probably the best cusser in show business.
    BENICIO DEL TORO, which of course means "Benicio of the Toro," was so bizarre in this movie. He was cool, and weird, and gay all at the same time. It was incredible to watch. He had so much style. He almost made me want to act like him, but then I realized that's what my brother did so I kicked myself in the balls. And if you think it's impossible to kick yourself in the balls then I challenge you to stand up right now and give it a try! Go ahead... try it. Just try it!

DIRECTION AND SCRIPT

    GUY RITCHIE directed this movie and wrote the script. He has a very distinct directing style. He's fast paced and in your face. As a writer he seems to love character details. He seems like the kind of guy who could sit down and write hundreds of little details about each character as if they were real people. In this movie he created a body of very colorful and interesting folks. And I'd probably love them if I didn't used to live with a person who wanted to be them. All the characters were so unique and they all interacted together in such a cool way. I also really liked how Ritchie had several stories running parallel to each other but they were also connected and the most interesting parts were when the stories came together.

THE VERDICT

    This is a very cool movie with a lot of very cool characters. If you like fast paced movies that are different than mainstream Hollywood bullshit, then this is the movie for you! You have to pay careful attention though because there is almost too much happening too fast. It's so fast paced it might give you a headache if you let your brain relax. But it's a very well crafted movie. And if you don't have an older brother who ruined your chances of fully appreciating this movie, then you'll probably love it.
    And if at least one person out there tried to kick themselves in the balls after reading this, then it's all worth it. Now try to lick your elbow.
 
 

RATING: B

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