G BABY'S REVIEW OF:
BAD SANTA (2003)

OPENING THOUGHTS

    You can tell by the title, Bad Santa, that you're not going to find Jimmy Stewart in this Christmas movie. That, and the fact that he's dead. But how bad could Santa possibly be? Will the filmmakers really go for it and make him a baaaad Santa? Or will this just be a... Bad Movie.

ACTING

    BILLY BOB THORNTON plays Willie, which can also mean cock. Billy Bob was terrific in this movie as a pathetic, boozed up, crook who dresses up as Santa to rob department stores. This is the kind of role Billy Bob was born to play. And I just need to say that I still think it's remarkable how a man named Billy Bob can be taken seriously as an actor. Or taken seriously as a human being, for that matter. But he is. And that's fuggin fantastic for him, but I just hope it doesn't give false hope to any other Billy Bobs out there.
    LAUREN GRAHAM… Fuck me Santa! Fuck me Santa! Fuck me Santa! Fuck me Santa! Fuck me Santa! Fuck me Santa! Fuck me Santa! Fuck me Santa! Fuck me Santa! Yeah... that's all I can remember about her right now. Oh that, and the mistake that she did not have any topless scenes. Oh and there's also something going on with her mouth that I can't quite put my finger on. But now I'm just being superficial. Her acting was the tops.
    BRETT KELLY plays the awkward fat boy to perfection. He gave a hilarious and at times heart-wrenching performance. But I think he only made me cry because he reminded me of myself when I was an awkward fat boy. Oh God the pain... Suppress it... Suppress it... Ah there it is, the familiar numbness. I'm back to being dead inside. Hey speaking of dead...
    JOHN RITTER also stars in what would be his last major motion picture role. Ritter was also well cast in this part. I liked how he never played the character as a jerk. His character wasn't really the antagonist for Billy Bob Thornton's character. The main character was a bad guy and his rival was a good guy. It made a very interesting relationship.

DIRECTION AND SCRIPT

    TERRY ZWIGOFF did a great job directing this movie. It's hilarious, but it also has a lot of heart and it really inspired a full range of emotions in me. Zwigoff didn't win any awards for directing this movie, but he did win the "Name That Kinda Sounds Like A Masturbation Reference Award". Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta go Zwigoff.
    GLEN FICARRA and JOHN REQUA penned what is probably the ballsiest Christmas movie script ever written. The dialogue is so irreverently funny and the movie is filled to the brim with quotable lines (Just don't quote them at work or in church or in front of your mother or wife or kids or grandma). The script is very funny, but you also have to give a lot of credit to the actors for their brilliant delivery.

THE VERDICT

    But before I go Zwigoff, I've gotta rate this movie. Movies don't get much funnier than this. In fact, I think it's the funniest Christmas movie ever made. But keep in mind it's not for everyone. There is filthy language, gratuitous sex, and santa related violence. So it's fine for you young kids out there but your mom will probably be offended. Not my mom though. She's cooler than yours.
 
 

RATING: A

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