CARD SHARK'S QUICKIE REVIEW OF:
THE EXPENDABLES (2010)
I'm not going to lie. When I first
heard about this movie, I got a little bit of a stiffy. Given the line-up
for this movie's cast, you can imagine why I had no trouble believing that
this could be one the most epic of action movies of all time. I'm just
going to run down the entire cast list just in case you can only remember
a few. This movie has appearances from Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham,
Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Eric Roberts, Randy Couture, Steve Austin, Terry
Crews, Mickey Rourke, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis. This is a
ridiculous list of action stars to show up in one single movie. I don't
think it's been done before on this scale and it probably will not be done
again. I thought the dialogue was good, at least for an action movie. Mickey
Rourke gave a good performance, but I couldn't help but wonder if he was
somehow channeling Tom Waits. I know at this point your are probably wondering
why I a mentioning things like dialogue in a review for an action movie.
Well to be honest I was just trying to say something good about this film
before I shit all over it. I'm not really exactly sure who ruined this
film so I'm going to blame director Sylvester Stallone, and the editors
Ken Blackwell and Paul Harb. The biggest complaint I have with this movie
is the action, which is a huge problem considering this is supposed to
be an action movie. I would have to rent this movie on DVD and watch the
scenes out of order just to get a sense of what was going on in the action
sequences. There would be like four separate fights going on at any one
time, all in different locations, and the camera would switch back and
forth between them literally every one to four seconds. That's right, I
was so bored by the action sequences that I actually counted "one one-thousands"
in between cuts. A lot of the cuts didn't even make sense. One of the cuts
had a character kicking someone in the head followed by a quick cut of
the same person then shooting down a hallway with machine gun. The whole
thing da me wondering if I had stroked out for a while. By the end of the
movie I could only throw my hands up in the air and say, "what the fuck."
This is an action movie that I know most will see because of the cast just
like I did. It's not the worst action flick in the world, but I think a
good editor could have made this one great. Then again I suppose that would
also depends on the footage the director gave them to work with.
THIS FILM HAS BEEN RATED
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Don't pretend like you don't know what that means. |
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cardshark@hollywoodguys.net
