MR. SPARKLE BIO
BORN 2005
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DIED 2005
Real Name: Sean
If You Were a Movie Where Would You Be Shelved: Action
Reason:
Because kicking ass is delicious. Also because I'm not gay. Gay men don't like action movies, proven fact. I feel alive when a sweaty, greasy, masculine hero runs through a warehouse with guns blazing, and muscles bulging... rippling and bronzed from the sun. Also gay sex, that makes me feel alive... I mean... not gay things. Really though, Martial arts and action movies are some of my favorites, and I often dream of killing people with no consequences. Perhaps I should write a new bio?
Hobbies: Mastur... movies, Selling children on the
black market, playing video games, getting sick, washing my truck, and
knitting.